on growing up and choosing better things for myself
I used to be a penny pincher. I was extremely tight with my own money and often restricted myself from buying things for my own good. This goes for many things: clothes, shoes, or bags.
This didn’t make me rich, nor did it improve my savings in any meaningful way. While restricting myself from buying high-quality items, I spent my money on good food as consolation, or on small, impulsive things that added up. Since food felt relatively cheap compared to a good-quality pair of shoes, I convinced myself it was okay to spend.
Treating my family became one of my favorite pastimes. Instead of investing in something good for myself, I kept saying, “It’s because I’m the breadwinner.” Well, as a classic sandwich generation + first-daughter trait, I felt guilty if I spent some good money on myself.
I also became a master of comparing items and looking for value-for-money deals. Even if I had the funds, I always bought the cheaper piece, trying to believe that I was doing the right thing and saving some money.
The money always went nowhere and became nothing. Either I bought another cheap thing to console myself (so now I had two cheap things I didn’t really want), or repeated the aforementioned experiences.
It left me resentful. Truthfully, my family never asked too much; it was me who restricted myself and felt ungrateful after all. It was my husband—back then, my boyfriend—who said it was okay to treat myself.
Over time, I realized that cheap things don’t save me money; they just add clutter, stress, and repeated disappointment. I started thinking differently. Instead of chasing the cheapest option, I began looking for items that are durable, timeless, and truly worth the investment.
Maybe it's just the twenties-to-thirties rite of passage: your finance gets more stable, but you have less time and less tolerance for cheap-and-not-good choices.
switching to iOS
Perhaps this is the biggest change in my daily life. Let’s be real: iPhones aren’t cheap. If we’re being honest and follow the rule of “only buy something if you have ten times the amount it costs,” very few Indonesians would ever switch to an iPhone.
Yet I did it. It took me a few months to save and complete the switch (with a little push from my sister, best friend, and husband), and I’m grateful I did. The experience is seamless. Especially: no ads, and it syncs perfectly with my work machine (an office-owned MacBook).
I thought I’d switch for the camera. But after two years, what I really value is the stability: the phone feels smooth, uncluttered, and surprisingly new, even though it was released in 2021. I plan to keep it until it breaks. A battery can be replaced; a cheap phone that frustrates you every day can’t.
building a capsule wardrobe
As an ex–penny pincher, it’s always tempting to fall for the “cheap but luxurious” bait (they’re lying or have never actually experienced good fabric in their life). Ironically, as a fashion major graduate, I knew exactly what good fabric feels like. I also knew good fabric is expensive, and since I couldn’t afford it, I chose lower-grade material with a cheaper price. Naturally, this made me, a fashion graduate, hate clothing. Lol.
After getting married, I made a conscious effort to choose better fabrics and better-quality items, and yes, I spent more. But I didn’t regret it. Better things made me happier and made me less tempted to shop, because I felt content with what I bought and actually wore them. Not because I had nothing to wear, but because I liked wearing them.
The same goes for bags and shoes. I love bags more than shoes, so it’s a bit difficult. I keep getting tempted to buy something cheap just because it’s cute… and cheap. ChatGPT has been helpful, because every time I want to buy something, I’ll just talk about my wants until the impulse cools down hahaha. Thanks to it I can yap endlessly about how the bag is cute and good and didn't actually buy them.
I plan to keep my collections small and curated, with one-in-one-out policy. Will write about this more later.
three fragrances on rotation
I'm a fragrance enthusiast. (Read some of my fragrance reviews using translate features). Every new release intrigues me, and I want to buy it, at least as a decant or sample. It felt weird if I, as a fragrance lover, didn’t have an arsenal of collections, right?
Except it doesn’t have to be like that. I am still a fragrance lover even though I don’t have tons of samples and multiple perfume bottles in my house. At first, I decluttered because of my small vanity space: I had to share it with my husband. Then, it just felt simpler and better since it gave me more clarity.
Each one serves a different mood and occasion: something light for daily wear, something cozy for colder days, and another one for experimenting—my token for trying new fragrances, which I only buy in small bottles. Having only three keeps me from chasing every new release and helps me actually finish the bottles I own. It feels intentional, and it reduces waste.
solid wood furniture
Lastly, I’ve decided to choose solid wood furniture when it’s available and within my budget. Unlike the cheaper particle-board alternatives, solid wood is durable, timeless, and repairable.
The recent case is my new bed from wooden furniture artisans in Jepara. It's quite expensive, but it's surprisingly cheaper than my IKEA wishlist, which was made from plywood.
When you live with a piece that grows older with you, it feels less like “stuff” and more like an investment. It might take longer to save for, but it also saves me from the cycle of buying and replacing. My first experience went well, so I want to buy another custom-made solid wood again when it's time to buy new furniture!
In the end, you can find cheaper items with good quality—but they require research, patience, and sometimes compromise. When I was younger, I had time and actually enjoyed researching those items, but nowadays, I prefer a different approach.
Now, I ask myself: What’s the best option I can afford within my budget? And then I work toward buying that. It’s no longer about choosing the cheapest option even when I have the money; it’s about choosing something that will last and truly serve me well.
Shifting from penny-pinching to intentional spending isn’t about becoming “luxury-minded”; it’s about aligning purchases with the life I want to live. Choosing quality means choosing less stress, less clutter, and more appreciation for what I already have.
Hopefully, this mindset will last me a lifetime.
Goodbye for now,
Mega